A Fine Treatment Program for Lindsay Lohan

July 21, 2010 · Print This Article · Email This Post

Lindsay Lohan Mug ShotActress Lindsay Lohan’s latest mug shot spread virally across the Internet yesterday, following her 90-day jail sentence for probation violation — She failed to attend alcohol education classes in a timely manner, as ordered by Judge Marsha Revel in Los Angeles, California. Judges don’t like it when defendants don’t do as they’re told. It probably didn’t help any that, at her 6 July probation revocation hearing, Lindsay’s middle fingernails were painted with the letters “FU.” Her tweets after the hearing, saying that she was NOT going to jail, and in which she called the judge “a f’ing bitch” doomed her far-fetched plan for an appeal to failure. You’re 24 and you haven’t figured out yet that judges don’t like to be crossed? C’mon.

It’s sometimes hard to keep LiLo’s legal difficulties sorted out: The current substance abuse saga really began in 2007, when she was arrested twice for DUI within five days. That takes work. At any rate, to her credit, she did serve 84 minutes in jail in November 2007. This time, the L.A. Sheriff’s Department says that Lindsay will serve about 23 days of her 90-day sentence (jail overcrowding plus time off for good behavior). Lindsay’s now a guest at the Lynwood Correctional Facility in L.A. She’ll still get her Adderall and Ambien (doctor prescribed), but the lifelong asthmatic, who smokes two packs a day, is out of luck on the smokes.

Judge Marsha RevelHere’s a Photoshopped image of Judge Revel seen today. After Lindsay’s done with her jail stint, Judge Revel has ordered her into a 90-day rehab program.

This all reminds me of a woman named Linda, whom I met several years ago. Linda liked cocaine. Eventually, she was sentenced to two years in the LaRue County Jail for drug-related offenses. At the time, she begged and pleaded with the Judge to let her attend rehab somewhere. The Judge responded: “We have a fine treatment program right here in LaRue County. It’s called the LaRue County Detention Center.” Linda said it was the best thing that ever happened to her. Lindsay should be so lucky.

(Read about Lindsay’s three trips to rehab in 2007.

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