Surgeon General Thinks Santa is Too Fat

December 2, 2007 · Print This Article · Email This Post

Santa Claus Stuck in Chimney on Christmas Eve

In yet another recent politically correct dig at Santa Claus, acting U.S. Surgeon General Rear Adm. Steven K. Galson told the Boston Herald on Friday that Santa Claus is too fat and is setting a bad example for children. “It is really important that the people who kids look up to as role models are in good shape, eating well and getting exercise. It is absolutely critical,” he said in the Herald interview.

In recent times, Santa has been barred from putting little children in his lap and has had his pipe taken away in some locations. In Australia, he’s no longer allowed to say “ho, ho, ho,” for fear of offending morally upright women. (Kind of like how the word “gay” got co-opted in recent decades.) British Santas were recently sent to weight loss boot camp. And, according to Tim Connaghan, founder of the International University of Santa Claus, some American Santas don’t offer “Merry Christmas” greetings, for fear of offending non-Christians.

Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas

Nicholas Trolli, president of the Philadelphia-based Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas (AORBS), agrees with the Surgeon General and says that AORBS has urged its 800 members to lose weight in time to be slim and trim for their July 2008 convention in Overland Park, Kansas. Trolli said: “We think it is a health issue for Santa and for children and that Santa should be setting an example.”

However, the Massachusetts Department of Public Health is more inclined to give Santa a break. A spokeswoman for the department, Donna Rheaume, said: “While childhood obesity is a serious problem, we think Santa is fine just the way he is.” However, she also noted that: “We would recommend people leave him healthier snacks this year like a nice apple or carrot and celery sticks, which have an added benefit because they are tasty for his reindeer, too.” No! Chocolate chip cookies and milk!

In related accidentally politically correct news, the Spokane Public Schools District neglected to mention Christmas in a list of important December dates included in a newsletter sent to families of elementary school students. Eid al-Adha (an Islamic holy day), the first day of winter, Hanukkah, Human Rights Day, Kwanzaa and winter break were all included. District spokeswoman Terren Roloff apologized, saying: “It was absolutely an error of omission…In our efforts to be inclusive, we missed the obvious.” Bah, humbug.

Read a more inspiring Christmas story.

Photo credit: AORBS

Copyright ©2007


2 Responses to “Surgeon General Thinks Santa is Too Fat”

  1. K. Kringle on December 11th, 2007 11:26 am

    A short and quick message to the Surgeon General. Santa doesn’t follow orders as he’s not in the army.And perhapes you need to put on a few pounds your looking a little thin General sir. And now for the Politically correct of the world Blow it out your stockings HO HO HO. Christmas is for kids. keep your narrow minded save the world comments to yourselves.
    K. Kringle

  2. pajamadeen on December 11th, 2007 9:24 pm

    Dear Kris,

    Love it, great comment! Pajamadeen never did quite get with the politically correct program, either, as you can probably tell. Let kids be kids. Don’t forget to bring me lots of presents!