Clueless WordPress Wannabe Clients from Hades

September 11, 2008 · Print This Article · Email This Post

Lisa Simpson of the Simpson Family, in a Parody of Edvard Munch's Scream PaintingAlong with a team consisting of a great coder and a talented graphic artist, Pajamadeen installs WordPress blogs and websites, performs search engine optimization (SEO) magic for bloggers, and upgrades blogs and plug-ins. But one must pick carefully through the minefield of potential clients. Here are some recent gems and our thoughts about them:

  • “Design me a custom WordPress theme from scratch.” (Secretly thinking: “Oh yeah, right. Got thousands of dollars? We thought not. Next!”)

  • “I want to take a snippet of this theme and a snippet of that theme and a little of this and a little of that, and combine it into a theme…” (Secretly thinking: “No, this is not an ice cream sundae bar, where you sprinkle on a little of this and a little of that. Pick a theme you like and we’ll modify within reason.”

  • Then there’s this crowd: “I work for a small charity.” (Translate: This is supposed to become our problem. They want the work done for free.)

  • Here’s one that’s always good for a chuckle: “I’ll trade you _____ (T-shirts and snowboards are two of the offerings) for blog work.” (Secretly thinking: ”No thank you, I have enough carp of my own.” Besides, Pajamadeen lives in the sunny South and there’s not a lot of call for snowboards here.)

  • The real gem was: “I want a fabulous new plug-in that doesn’t yet exist, hand coded for me. You sell me all rights to it so I can resell it.” (Secretly thinking: “WTF?!!!”)

So, to all our great clients, you make WordPress blog work a joy. Thank you! And a pox on the bad boys of blogdom!

Have any fav-o-rite types of wannabe clients you’d like to share?

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2 Responses to “Clueless WordPress Wannabe Clients from Hades”

  1. lbj245 on October 20th, 2008 9:25 pm

    Interesting post.  I’ve had clients like that but I don’t know if posting about them is going to attract or deter new clients. So the way I tend to deal with them is by not dealing with them, if you know what I mean.

  2. pajamadeen on October 20th, 2008 9:36 pm

    We couldn’t help posting it.  🙂 

    Yes, we know _exactly_ what you mean about…just not dealing with them.  We’ve got a potential client right now whom I think we’re going to turn down.  He admits he’s clueless about computers in general and WordPress in particular.  He has some weird splog which he claims is a WordPress blog – however, we’re unable to find any hint in the code as to what theme this might be or might have been, there’s no sign of an admin login, and wp-admin.php is nonexistent.  He is unable to provide us any information regarding that situation, of course.

    And yet…he wants us to do the work and tutor him on every step of it, so that he’ll be self-sufficient in the future.  This is one of those potential clients who is going to e’mail bomb us with never-ending questions…and who will remain as confused as ever.  I’m sure you’ve had those, too!