So Long, Goodbye, Hasta la Vista, President Bush

January 19, 2009

Mission Accomplished, George Bush Leaves OfficeWe’ve been waiting for years to write this post. After almost a decade of national trauma, it finally feels real: President George W. Bush is leaving and has less than 24 hours left in office. We’re still not sure what planet he was on for the last eight years, based on his goodbye speech to the American people. Maybe he lives in a parallel universe? The contrast between Bush and president-elect Obama became even clearer today during the national day of service in honor of Martin Luther King’s birthday. Obama painted walls in a shelter for homeless teenagers, after paying an unscheduled visit to wounded troops at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, while wife Michelle Obama prepared packages to be sent to troops.

Meanwhile, President Bush remained out of sight in the White House, calling Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and other international leaders to thank them for working with him during his terms of office. Meanwhile, the exuberant Kenyan Boys Choir from Nairobi danced in the streets of Washington, DC and sang ““No Problem.” Their message to Barack Obama: “Just believe in what you tell us: ‘Yes, you can!’ ”

Bush told the rest of us goodbye last Friday, in a nationally televised appearance from the East Room of the White House. The speech, widely panned for its surrealistic qualities, contained such nuggets as:

  • “The first decade of this new century has been a period of consequence — a time set apart.” (Translate: Yes, a time set apart — like a bad dream, only it was real.)

  • “Tonight, I am filled with gratitude — to Vice President Cheney…” (pssst, George: You’re probably the only person who feels this way. Our readers will recall Vice President-Elect Biden’s comments about Cheney during an October vice presidential candidate debate, when he remarked: “Vice President Cheney has been the most dangerous Vice President we’ve had probably in American history.”)

  • “As the years passed, most Americans were able to return to life much as it had been before 9/11. ..Over the past seven years, a new Department of Homeland Security has been created. The military, the intelligence community, and the FBI have been transformed. Our nation is equipped with new tools to monitor the terrorists’ movements, freeze their finances, and break up their plots.” (Translate: No, our lives didn’t return to normalcy. The “new normal” became a country in which you used fear as a weapon, curtailed civil liberties such as habeas corpus, spied on your fellow citizens, waterboarded suspects in violation of the Geneva Convention and held prisoners indefinitely at Guantanamo Bay — including citizens from Australia and a 16-year-old boy from Canada, Omar Khadr, who has been there for six-and-a-half years in limboland.)

  • “. . .this great republic, born alone in liberty, is leading the world toward a new age when freedom belongs to all nations.” (Translate: Stop it. Just stop it. Leave everyone alone. After our invasion of Iraq, they all hate us. Stop using “freedom” as an excuse to meddle in the affairs of other countries.)

  • “America’s air and water and lands are measurably cleaner.” (Translate: Righhht.) And so that’s why your most recent environmental policy changes — some proposed by the Environmental Protection Agency and the Interior Department, among other government agencies — take the form of “midnight regulations,” which will go into effect by tomorrow’s inauguration and which will take a substantial amount of time to undo, include: getting wolves removed from the Endangered Species List; allowing power plants to operate near our national parks; loosening regulations governing factory farm waste; and making it easier for mine owners to engage in mountaintop coal-mining. Matt Madia of OMB Watch, which monitors the White House Office of Management and Budget through which the proposed regulations were channeled, told Reuters that industry will likely come out the clear winner. “Whether it’s the electricity industry or the mining industry or the agriculture industry, this is going to remove government restrictions on their activity and in turn they’re going to be allowed to pollute more and that ends up harming the public.”)

  • Here’s a whopper. Bush said: “When challenges to our prosperity emerged, we rose to meet them. Facing the prospect of a financial collapse, we took decisive measures to safeguard our economy. . .
    with determination and hard work, we will restore our economy to the path of growth. We will show the world once again the resilience of America’s free enterprise system.” (Translate: Let’s skip the part about how American jobs were outsourced to other countries where workers are paid pennies on the dollar. Let’s skip the part about how China essentially owns us — if they decided to sell off all those American dollars they’re holding and asked us to repay our debt to them, our economy would likely be nonexistent. And let’s definitely skip that part about how the Iraq War has already cost $589 billion and is projected, ultimately, to carry a $3 trillion price tag — enough money to have likely solved our current financial meltdown.)

  • And this stunningly incomprehensible, unfathomable comment (when the source is considered): “Murdering the innocent to advance an ideology is wrong every time, everywhere. . .This nation must continue to speak out for justice and truth.”

  • And don’t forget the Bush administration’s response to Hurricane Katrina. (Translate: Hurricane? What hurricane? Where?)

With Bush now considered in polls to be the worst president we’ve ever had, we thought this song — found on Stephanie Miller’s radio show — an appropriate musical farewell for Dubya.

Thanks for the Memory
The hell you put us through
Deserves a big f**k you
From Bush v Gore
To endless war
It really was a coup
SO f**k you, George Bush.

Thanks for the memory
You failed and so much more
Approvals through the floor
You are the first at being worse
Than all who’ve come before
How inept you are.

Yes, it was hell while it lasted
To see our country so detested
and how is it you’re not arrested
It was not fun
So much harm done.

And tanks in my memory
They rumble through my dreams
Like Abu Ghraib screams
The countless lies
As good men die
America got reamed
How awful it was.

Think you’re the ministry
Get on your knees and pray
Make Terri Schiavo stay
The word of God
You Christian fraud
Isn’t yours to say
How ghoulish it was.

Goodbye let’s make it forever
With your place in history reserved
With such failure, it’s really deserved
Just make my day
Go far away

Sank the economy
Deregulation sprees
Send factories overseas
Export the jobs of working slobs
Drive them to their knees
How bankrupt you are

Emptied the Treasury
Cut taxes for the rich
Financial bait ’n switch
A costly war
As bailouts soar
You really found your niche
You f****d us, George Bush!

I was an average worker
Then my job, house and wife went away
But my credit card debt’s here to stay
No bankruptcy
To set me free

Homeland Security
The towers that fell down
New Orleans left to drown
Read my pet goat
Watched bodies float
You really are a clown
How clueless you are.

How’s this for victory?
From shock and awe TV
To leashed depravity
The dead are hid
No contracts bid
Bin Laden still runs free
You punk a**, George Bush

Your preemptive war was folly
World sympathy soured to fury
The World Court should next be your jury
So many died
You satisfied?

Right-wing philosophy
The garbage that they spew
To benefit the few
This cult of hate
We’re giving you the shoe
All together once more.

U.S. Bushectomy
It’s time for us to cut
This boil from our butt
His public life
Under the knife
Bye George! There goes one nut
So f**k you
F**k you
George Bush.

Ahhhhh, that felt great!

Read about the problems created by the George W. Bush Presidential Library.

Copyright © 2009

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