I Get By with a Little Help from My Friends

May 2, 2008

Richmond, California Fire Department Uniform PatchPajamadeen’s been going through a few changes lately. The blog is being upgraded behind the scenes, and Pajamadeen’s apparently been upgraded in the eyes of her parental unit, known to most people as a mother. The parental unit, or p.u. (sorry, we couldn’t resist!) has always been dissatisfied with her daughter’s decision to write. But it’s not really a decision that could be avoided — PJ’s always written, whether online or offline. It’s her raison d’être, as it were. Her p.u. prized her attorney daughter. She tolerated a schoolteacher daughter. But now it appears that Pajamadeen may be the only sibling willing to rearrange her life and care for an aging, increasingly frail, and hostile mother who, accustomed to being in control, is frightened by how her health is spinning out of control. This has required some mental readjustment on the p.u.’s part. And could it be that this daughter with the big heart has a value far beyond the trappings of material success?

Pajamadeen needed to talk about this potential fork in the road less travelled. Surprisingly, she found that friendships which had lasted as long as 34 years failed at this juncture. It seems no one on the planet wants to talk about caring for elderly parents. Only two people listened, and offered suggestions as to how to best deal with the awkward, sad, situation. It caused PJ to reevaluate her friendships.

There’s one person in particular who didn’t fail Pajamadeen. She should have known that it would be a firefighter. So, here is a little heartfelt lagniappe for Tony. Pajamadeen sometimes likes to pretend that she doesn’t need anyone. It protects one’s heart. But this man is that rara avis, a true friend, and not a lightweight good-time Charlie.

So, just for you, Tony, PJ’s hijacked this blog post. Here’s a classic for you from the Queen’s Jubilee in 2002. Phil Collins is on the drums, and Brian May, lead guitarist in the rock band Queen, who’s ranked as the 39th greatest guitarist of all time by Rolling Stone magazine, is the guitarist backing up Joe Cocker. Enjoy. . .And thank you.

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