I Found Jon Corzine’s Missing $1.2 Billion

December 9, 2011

Suitcase Full of CashReally! After shopping half-heartedly at Pamida (a privately held chain of miniature K-Marts located in small towns, primarily in the Midwest) for a new office chair for Wrinkled Randy, getting a prescription filled and wandering around looking at Christmas decorations, we emerged with the chair, the prescription, and a couple of sweaters for me. Once home, as we removed our purchases from the back of the SUV, we saw a suitcase. An attached sticky note read: “Private! Do not touch. Jon Corzine.” Visions of sugarplums danced through our heads. Naturally, we popped open the suitcase. It was stuffed with $100 bills and bearer bonds worth millions of dollars.

Jon Corzine, MF GlobalHey! If John Corzine can say ? under oath — that he “never intended to break any rules,” and didn’t realize that MF Global was spending more than it had, then I can spin a yarn as well. His lawyered-up testimony was jaw dropping. He eventually testified: “The money will be found.” Oh paleeeeze. You would think that someone who’s served as a U.S. Senator, Governor of New Jersey, and CEO and chairman of Goldman Sachs would have some idea of what was going on at a company he ran. Would you buy a used car from this man? Me neither. But if I did have the “missing” $1.2 billion, I’d give every penny back to the investors, to end their bewilderment and pain.

Read a post about Zynga, which is expected to give birth to its IPO next Friday, 16 December. It’s widely anticipated as a precursor to Facebook’s 2012 IPO. Never mind the fact that Zynga is dependent upon Facebook and Facebook is dependent upon. . .Google.

Photo credit: businessinsider.com

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